Friday, September 30, 2016

—Game Review— Bayonetta

I can't remember now what made me want to play Bayonetta. I ended up buying it, though, and actually enjoyed it. For the most part.


Published by SEGA
Developed by Platinum Games / Nex Entertainment
Released 2009 | Action
For Xbox 360, PS3 | Review: Xbox 360
*Rated M for Mature 17+*
Blood and Gore | Intense Violence | Partial Nudity
Strong Language | Suggestive Themes
(Click HERE for ESRB rating details.)

HGG rating: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 6/10

You are Bayonetta, some kind of demon-hybrid and it's your job to destroy the angels and/or demons that are out to destroy mankind. Or something. With your hair.

Or something. I wasn't really clear on the point of this game. I killed whatever was trying to kill me.

First impressions? 
Oh dear God. I am so not the target audience for this game.
It's hilarious.

Graphics and voices? 
Really good, on both counts. Almost too good as far as graphics go, but I suppose not if you are one of those male players who likes a game full of half-naked females.

Interesting hack 'n' slash. It's really nothing more than a button-masher, but a rather amusing one. On anything higher than the easiest difficulty, the button combos supposedly matter. I wouldn't know. I played it through once on the easiest setting and that was quite enough for me.

You can see a bit of the gameplay in the official launch trailer I've linked from YouTube. (Click over and like it, if you like it.)

Um...yeah. There's Bayonetta, a little girl, some guy, and another woman remarkably like Bayonetta but blond... Somehow they're all connected and I'm not really clear on how...

So, the story lost me somewhere. Honestly, the only reason I finished the game was the romantic in me wanting some kind of happy ending between Bayonetta and the reporter guy whose name I can't even remember now. Yeah, it didn't really turn out the way I'd hoped...

Definitely deserves the M rating. The finishing moves (torture attacks) are disgusting. Over-the-top gross. And Bayonetta's special attacks involve her hair, which happens to double as her clothing. Thus we see a lot of skin when she performs these moves. Clearly, I am not the target audience for this game.

For a button masher, it was a whole lotta fun, thus the reason it got 6 hearts from me despite all the exposed skin, disgusting finishing moves, and the fact that I can barely remember what the story was even about. 

My rating? 
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 6/10 life hearts.
It's got its fun [hilarious] moments even if you aren't the target audience. I suppose it's even replayable if you are the target audience. Xbox users, there's a demo HERE you can grab to give it a try. 

Where to buy?
*Bayonetta is owned by Sega, Platinum Games, and Nex Entertainment; these companies do not in any way endorse this fan / gaming / reviews blog.

Until next time...

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